Constant Dieting
Are you constantly dieting?
Have you ever thought, “I’ve been dieting all my life?”
If so, you may be experiencing something I call R-Cycling.
R-Cycling is a predictable pattern of behaviors and outcomes over time.
R-Cycling has four phases and while all phases vary per individual in detail, it’s the overall pattern we recognize. For the sake of easy writing, I have used the name of PIla for a character. I have never known anyone named Pila nor have I ever had a client named Pila. She is a fictional character completely.
RESTART
The first phase of R-Cycling is the Restart Phase.
It’s a brand new day and Pila is glad. She woke up ready to reset and restart her diet….again. Pila took a break, practiced some self-care, and satisfied all her food desires. Casting off restraint- all of it eventually (although she didn’t start out with that intention) she is ready to begin recovery from the damage she did to her fitness goals during her break. Putting the past behind her she will start over hoping to pick up where she left off. PIla knows that it will take a week or two to stabilize, but she’s excited about the restart and return to the structure that in the restart phase makes her very happy. Ready to enjoy her safe and rewarding structure Pila is all in and determined to do whatever her fitness plan requires. In this restart phase, Pila is encouraged by the progress she makes and loves moving in the direction of her dreams and goals. She is excited about finding her New Me, and she never wants to go back to her Old Me ways. She has promised herself and her coach that there is no going back from here.
Note: Even with the positive results Pila will enjoy in the Restart phase, she has a hard time acknowledging progress. She downplays compliments and is hesitant to join in an upbeat outlook. If she is complimented on her weight loss she will reply, “ Well, I don’t think it’s real. It’s likely all water. We will have to wait to see.” This seems to be a commonality in R-Cycling.
REASONING
The second phase of R-Cycling is the Reasoning Phase.
Pila is doing terrific. She is seeing progress on a weekly basis, her clothes are fitting looser, and she is getting compliments. Best of all she has more energy and is feeling better too. Her body is rebounding and she’s staying on track. Pila is finally racking up some miles, and her consistency is rewarding. Somewhere along the road in the weight loss car, however, the Reasoner sneaks in for a ride and Pila begins to reason with the Reasoner who starts whispering in Pila’s ear. Persistently it begins preparing for a dialogue. Reasoner’s first scheme is to get Pila to doubt and question her purpose. Interestingly, it’s also about this time Pila has resisted many temptations and like a helium balloon is beginning to leak energy from the daily drain of life’s circumstances. The Reasoner knows this and he plants seeds of doubt in her mind about her purpose. She starts to tune in and listen to the Reasoner’s voice. Finally, someone at least understands what she’s going through.
The Reasoner asks, “Why are you doing this?”
It continues, “Zi and Zo are not doing this. They eat whatever they want at the party and they are just fine.”
“Why can’t you just be “normal?”
As Pila begins to dialogue with the Reasoner two things happen. First, she begins to take its side and agree with it, and second, she gets closer to what she wants. The Reasoner is leading her to quit, to rest, take a break, and relieve some pressure. That sounds really good right now and what she really wants is that brownie she saw earlier.
The Reasoner doesn’t let up, and it won't as long as Pila is listening. It continues, “This consumes your life and you don’t have the energy for it. Don’t you just want to eat with your family and friends and be “normal?” (Once again, the Reasoner is subtly planting a destructive seed - you are not normal. Everyone wants to be normal. Now Pila is buying in…again. The Reason uses the same trick every time, but Pila doesn’t catch on.)
“Look at the people around you, the Reasoner continues, they never food prep nor even think about food, and they look great. Sure they are a few pounds overweight, okay a lot overweight, but they are HAPPY! Why are you doing this to yourself anyway?”
The Reasoner tops it off with, “You don’t need to live like this.”
Now that gets Pila’s attention. She’s feeling weak and unloading some pressure sounds good. No, she doesn’t have to live like this. Right now all she wants is to be free…and a brownie or even a small cookie would lighten her spirits as well.
Note: The Reasoner talks to us through our minds and through other people. The Reasoner’s voice through other people’s words is powerful. The Reasoner doesn’t pop up on a full tank. It begins slowly, subtly, nearly undetected at first. It doesn’t show up at the beginning of the restart phase. For the Reasoner, it’s all about timing. When temptation and desires flare the Reasoner is there.
RESISTANCE
The third phase of R-Cycling is the Resistance Phase.
Dialoguing with the Reasoner blurred the clear cut vision Pila had of her original goal in the restart phase. What she wanted so desperately at the start is hard to envision now. Instead of thinking about her goal, what she wants most, and looking at her rewards and benefits: her jeans are fitting looser, her friends are complimenting her, she is rebounding, and she is seeing weekly progress, she shifts her focus on the effort and what she is giving up. She works out more than her friends, she gets up earlier and goes to bed later, and the Resistance Phase begins. Pila begins to think thoughts like, “ I don’t care anymore. I’m going to happy. I’m going to eat what I want.” She starts to resist her fitness plan and food plan. Pila resists having to be accountable and checking in with her coach. She has convinced herself she isn’t happy like she “used to be.” Pila’s feelings from the Restart Phase have completely changed and she is now resisting the very things she embraced, loved, and believed in at the start.
Pila deviates from her strategy and starts disagreeing instead of agreeing with her coach. She searches out other plans and is making substitutions to the very plan she called the perfect plan for her when she restarted.
Pila’s resistance grows, “So what if I gain 5-10 pounds?”
Pila wants a break, but a break from what? From her purpose? No, she would say, just the restrictions. Interestingly the same structure she embraced in the restart phase is now what she sees as restriction and it’s her own plan for success she is resisting.
Resistance promises Pila she can pick her goals and dreams back up later. She has done it hundreds of times. She knows what to do and how it turns out. She will be okay.
Note: There is no real rest in the Reasoning or Resistance phase. The real REST comes in the RESTARTING phase. That is where people experience real self-care. Structure and progress bring rest and peace of mind. Discontentment begins in the reasoning and resistance phase.
RESTING
The fourth phase of R-Cycling is the Resting Phase.
Note: The Rest Phase in R-Cycling is not to be confused with refuel meals, recharge meals, taking a strategic break, or a necessary detour life’s unpredictable circumstances requires. The Rest Phase in R-Cycling is set apart from necessary and strategic resting periods.
In the Resistance Phase, Pila gave up the goals she had in her Restarting Phase. Without a clear-cut goal now she very easily turns to self-care and rest. A rest always sounds good to a tired person and Pila is very tired. Her work schedule has shifted to nights, her kids are sick, her nanny just quit, and her husband is working out of town. Feeling overwhelmed a rest sounds like the perfect plan for her right now. Some self-care is the right choice considering the circumstances.
Her health and fitness are the first things she lets go to lighten the load. Without the pressure of dieting and working out on a daily basis, she will have more time and less pressure.
Finally making this tough decision to take a break is freeing. Feeling as though a ton of bricks is off her shoulders she can finally rest confirming to her that she made the right choice.
NOTE: Resting and self-care both sound very appealing especially when one has been running hard. Health and fitness is the easiest thing to let go without affecting someone else, and it’s usually the first. Now Pila can now do whatever she wants without the pressure to produce and perform. Having the freedom to eat whenever, whatever, and “be normal” is the self-care she is desiring right now…and that piece of chocolate cake on the counter is calling her name.
Predictably, enjoying her freedom, she had the brownie, then the cookie, then the chocolate cake, then the chips and salsa, ice cream, and thus she continued to eat whatever she walked past. The self-care she talked herself into turned into self-destruction in less than twenty-four hours.
By the end of the week, Pila is six pounds heavier, and feeling completely defeated. Pila finds she has less energy now than when she took a break. She doesn’t like where she ended up, and this is definitely not the happy place she thought it would be. The road that seemed right at the time turned out to be nothing she had imagined. So Pila encourages herself by saying the six pounds is mostly water weight and it will come right off. Tomorrow is a New Day, and she will restart tomorrow. She can’t wait to get back to the structure and the strategy she thrived on. She wants to feel in control again and feel her jeans slide on. Pila will start tomorrow…again.
Reality Of R-Cycling
There is a very valid point to self-care we all believe in very much. The decision to take care of self, however, when practiced purely it leads to a better place. The right self-care has a refreshing outcome. It’s a breather in an unexpected circumstance. Real rest and self-care helps people and is a very beautiful thing.
In the weight loss car resting properly means there doesn’t need to be a deficit today, or even this week. Maybe not for two weeks, or whatever time is necessary for the circumstance. Maintenance during a rest period is enough. Resting may mean backing off exercise temporarily or adding a piece of fruit for a pick up during the day. It’s may mean taking a nap instead of doing cardio or eating with family or a friend. There will be certain times in the weight loss car, depending on how long the journey is, to rest, and to practice self-care.
On the other hand, when rest and self-care lead to a bad outcome these appealing words are often discovered to have been a reason to fulfill an immediate desire to cast off restraint. This is an illusion of rest and self-care. It’s caring for self at the moment, but it’s destroying self in the end.
In the R-Cycle the REST is not really resting at all.
Each time the R-Cycle repeats the confidence level weakens. It’s not uncommon for R-Cyclers to believe that they can ever maintain a healthy weight since they have never experienced doing so at an achieved New Me weight. It’s easy for R-Cyclers to accept the cycle as their lot in life.
Some come to reason the cycle is due to a medical issue, an eating disorder, a genetic disorder, or an emotional disorder. Some take a different approach. They know nothing is wrong with them so it must be the vehicle. They spend their entire lives looking for the perfect diet. They try every diet marketing sells. Surely, they say, there has to be a way I can lose weight without planning and still keep my social behaviors. They may search for their answer to overcome the R-Cycle literally their whole lives.
Other R-Cyclers find somewhat of a comfort in the predictability and familiarity of the cycle. They get to be strict, resist, binge, and recover. It keeps them from gaining tens of pounds as long as they keep restarting. Being unhappy with a few extra pounds is something they can live with.
Can R-Cycling be broken?
Absolutely!
First, there has to be a deep desire to change, and secondly, there has to be a willingness to let an experienced coach pull one through the R-Cycling phases. While one may scoff at the importance of the right mindset it is here the R-Cycle is continued or broken. The thought process in the restart phase of, “I’ll do whatever is expected,” has to continue through the reasoning and resistance phase. Keeping this through the resistance phase often requires allowing someone to “hold the feet to the fire,” so they can get through it successfully. The self-will is very strong during resistance, and the excuses, reasons, justifications, and emotions are intense. The resistance phase is emotionally based so the strategy for the resistance phase must be set in the restart phase when emotions are compliant and energized.
How we think is everything and every person has the power to break the R-Cycle if they choose to. Having the right strategy to overcome R-Cycling is paramount. It takes honesty, admittance, tough love, and intervention. Two are stronger than one and R-Cycling requires help, especially for the strong and determined. There is no doubt R-Cycling can be broken, but it does require a special strategy- not just a weight loss strategy.
R-Cycling is starting the weight loss journey in the weight loss car then deciding to hop in and out of the weight loss car. The finish line may never be crossed hopping in and out of the weight loss car. Hopping in and out of the weight loss car is what creates constant dieting.
It’s impossible to transfer to the maintenance car if one hasn’t crossed the finish line in the weight loss car. The maintenance car is the journey of maintaining the hard earned efforts achieved in the weight loss car.
If you feel you are too familiar with the R-Cycle and want to break free from this pattern I would be happy to answer any questions you have about it. I encourage you to attain your original purpose, find freedom, and the joy of keeping your New Me forever.
Author: Coach Mendy Lynn
The information here is the sole property of Coach Mendy Lynn, New Me Fitness, L.C., and is not to be copied or shared without permission. The information is the opinion of Coach Mendy Lynn and should not be taken as medical advice. Always consult with your medical professional for all dietary and nutritional needs.